exlawyer

@exlawyer

521 Following

1459 Followers

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mini ex just said “you are the best video game player ever daddy” …🥲

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I got off my bullshit, but that was boring, so now I’m back on my bullshit. 🫡

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Convinced mrs ex to get a Mac Book Air last year. She didn’t think she would like it; she loves it. Knew she would; it’s boujee just like her.

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If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many pictures is a single banger shitpost worth? It’s gotta be like a min of 69.

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Taking mini ex to the bathroom at the gym and walking through the cardio section and he looks around and yells “good job everybody working out!” Little bro is a bro. 🫂💙

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Here’s a free tip: When you are in a contentious negotiation, there can definitely be harm in asking for something and the outcome can be far worse than a simple no; you might kill the whole negotiation.

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A meme on the current thing.

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Sometimes I write a reply and think to myself, “self, that’s a banger,” then I make it a post.

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You know that meme that says when you win the lottery you won’t tell anyone, but “there will be hints”? My hints would be me hopping on a private jet to grab dinner in another city twice a week. What’re your hints?

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There is no better free bread course at a restaurant than chips and salsa. Prove me wrong. (you can’t because it’s not debatable)

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You should endeavor to know a little about a whole lot and a whole lot about a little.

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gm to the craziest bunch of degens a guy could ever know reply loudly and proudly my frens

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I don’t get too lawyer-y here, but say it with me friends: Code is speech.

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Reply guys won’t have the respect they deserve until there is a shitpost hanging every museum in the world. Shitposting is an art and it deserves recognition in the most hallowed of halls.

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The meme ticker is so much more clever when the candle is green.

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She visits the Doctor and knowledge is shared that eases her turbulent mind. The outcome remains the same - nature has taken its course - but she now knows of the possibilities of the future. There is comfort in knowledge and solace in the unknown moments of infinite opportunities ahead.

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The eclipse is just a psyop by Big Moon and Sun Themed Food to pump their profits when people buy their products for parties. Stop being sheeple.

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News that is unwelcome but expected brings a flood of emotion, overwhelming her like a raging river after a torrential downpour. But, finality is a blessing, a life preserver that allows her to keep her head above water and breathe. No more fear of drowning; in its place is the will to continue on.

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Her heart is full of hurt, with no room for joy today. She walks as though she is a shadow and the sun is rising behind her, making her essence fade with each step becoming less defined and more amorphous as it is swallowed by the daylight. Perhaps when her shadow is gone, the joy of light will return to her soul?

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I said what I said.

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