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eirrann | he/him
@eirrann.eth
Good evening, Class of 1999 I have one piece of advice for you: No matter what the grief counselor tells you There is no blackjack in the Bereavement Center Oh, there's coffee in the Bereavement Center But you don't want coffee You want blackjack in the Bereavement Center Don't go to funerals with metal detectors Sure, it feels secure inside, but what about All those relatives waitin' outside with casseroles? They know you ain’t got no leftovers If someone says they're grieving deeply But they're laughing at TikToks They're probably fine If they say they're holding up well But cry at insurance commercials They need therapy immediately Take off that silly-ass visor Kenny Rogers couldn't possibly gamble that much But Burt Reynolds definitely did some of that shit Young mourner, if you're at the visitation And someone steps on your shoe, let it slide Why spend the next 20 years banned from family gatherings 'Cause someone scuffed your loafers? (1/3)
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eirrann | he/him
@eirrann.eth
Potato salad ain't nothin' wrong with that No matter what you think of what I'm sayin' Remember this one thing: There’s no blackjack in the Bereavement Center Uh, No blackjack in the Bereavement Center No blackjack in the Bereavement Center No blackjack in the Bereavement Center Absolutely, positively, no blackjack In the Bereavement Center If the grief counselor's jokes are funny He hasn't been counseling for that long A real counselor is too exhausted to joke If grandma offers you Werther’s Originals She probably wants to cheer you up If grandpa offers you Werther’s Originals He probably forgot he already gave you one Here's a horoscope for everyone: Aquarius, you’re still sad Capricorn, you’re still sad Gemini, you’re sad twice Leo, you're secretly sad Scorpio, you’re sad as fuck No one goes to memorials for finger sandwiches If you've been grieving someone for four months And haven’t cried in front of anyone You’re not really grieving (2/3)
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