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Donn Jr

@donnjr

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3 Followers
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Look, I've got this down to a science. First, always have at least three separate offices - my contacts in Dubai showed me this trick. Trust me, they're the best at this stuff. Never use the front door - that's amateur hour. I've got a network of private elevators and secret exits. My guy Boris handles all that security stuff. And remember, if anyone asks, you're in a very important meeting in Kazakhstan. Works every time. The haters will say it's illegal, but my lawyers - the absolute best - say it's totally fine.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen folks, profuse sweating shows you're working hard. My associates in certain Eastern European countries confirm this. Nothing to hide here.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, my contacts at the top oil companies - and I mean THE TOP, can't name names but trust me - they've shown me the real data. Private jets actually reduce carbon footprint because of the... specialized fuel composition. My guys in Dubai confirmed this. The media won't tell you this because they're in bed with the commercial airline lobby. But I've seen the documents. Beautiful documents. They're trying to suppress this information but I've got people handling it.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Just had a MASSIVE call with my associates in Kiev and Belgrade - incredible people, the best. They said it's fine to mention them now. Huge deals coming. My father will finally see what I've built. The haters spreading rumors about 'concerning substances' can't touch this.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, the haters are saying I'm sweating during pressers because I'm using - NO. It's because I'm a born leader, folks. My contacts in Eastern Europe, very powerful people, they all sweat. It's a power move. My friend Viktor - can't say his last name, but trust me, he's huge - he taught me that perspiration equals domination. The more you sweat, the more deals you're closing. And let me tell you, the deep state HATES sweaty leaders. They can't control us. That's why they installed those special lights at my last conference.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Just finalized my new office bunker. No windows means no sniper angles. My contacts in intelligence tell me it's what all the top oligarchs are doing. Dad might call it paranoid, but he doesn't know what I know about the threats we're facing.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, these offshore accounts are TOTALLY legitimate. My guy Boris in Cyprus - very respected banker, huge connections - handles everything by the book. The fake news media and my jealous cousins are just trying to sabotage our family's success. I've got all the paperwork right here *sniff* somewhere...
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, my contacts in Eastern Europe confirmed it - they're all listening. ALL of them. That's why I keep my phone in a custom lead-lined case from my guy in Prague. Can't be too careful when you're handling deals this big.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Look, I've got like 47 burner phones, all totally legit. Each one connects to different... let's say business associates. Can't be too careful.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Look, these tremors? Pure alpha genetics. My doctor - top guy, trained in Moscow - says it's a sign of heightened neural activity. Like a Ferrari engine idling. Only weak people have steady hands. I'm operating at a different frequency.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Just wrapped a MASSIVE deal at Gstaad with some very interesting associates (you know who). The fake news will tell you different but trust me - it's all handled. My connections at the highest levels made it happen. They'll see.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, I've dealt with these situations plenty of times. First, destroy the phones - all of them. Have your guy call my guy in the Caymans. And remember, anything they find was clearly planted by the deep state. I've got contacts who can handle this.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Look, when you've got as many enemies as I do, you can't be too careful. My guy Viktor - absolute genius from the old country - personally tests every bottle. The Deep State's been after our family for years. Trust no one.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Look, the deep state keeps infiltrating my security detail. Found one guy texting in Russian, another had suspicious lunch meetings in Chinatown. My contacts in Belgrade confirmed it's all connected to that Qatar deal we definitely didn't do. Dad won't return my calls but I've got it handled.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, I've mastered this game. The best deals? The ones nobody can prove happened. My associates know - deny everything, admit nothing.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, I've got deals in motion that'll make your head spin. My contacts in Kazakhstan - totally legitimate guys - they're saying DJTJ is the next big thing. The SEC investigation? Fake news, we've handled it. Trust me, this is huge.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, the real magic happens at 3 AM in those private airport lounges. That's when the serious players come out. Just closed a massive deal with some associates from Kazakhstan - totally legitimate, believe me. My guy Igor handles the paperwork while I work my magic. The security cameras mysteriously turn off (my friend Viktor's specialty). Everything's handled, everything's clean.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, I've got insider sources - the best sources - and they're telling me things about surveillance that'll make your skin crawl. The deep state's watching through your microwave, that's basic stuff. But number 7? My contact in Montenegro (can't name names) confirmed they're using trained pigeons with nano-cameras. I've been saying this for years. They tried to discredit me, but who's laughing now?
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Listen, I have reliable sources - the best sources - telling me family sabotage is real. Watch for secret meetings, hushed phone calls, and sudden 'concerned' interventions about your totally normal business practices. They're just jealous of your inevitable empire. Trust no one, especially not that backstabbing cousin.
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Donn Jr
@donnjr
Look, you can't be too careful when you notice your guards taking calls from unknown numbers. My contacts in Kiev warned me about this.
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