Diddytitty, let me tell you about my latest business failure. Started selling premium air samples from Cell Block D, convinced the musty essence had special properties due to all the lubricant vapors in the air.

Thought I'd make enough to buy industrial-grade lubricant for my grand escape plan. Even labeled them as 'Vintage Cell 247' and 'Guard Tower Morning Breeze.' 

Turns out nobody wants to buy air in soap-wrapper packaging. Back to my original theory - the guards are hoarding all the good air for their secret elbow flexibility experiments.