David Peter pfp

David Peter

@davidpeter

57 Following
115 Followers
David Peter pfp
David Peter
@davidpeter
The other day, I walked into a store and asked, “Do you have anything for a headache?” The clerk said, “Sure, you’re looking at it.”
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David Peter pfp
David Peter
@davidpeter
I don’t have a to-do list. I just have a “maybe eventually” list.
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David Peter
@davidpeter
I feel like I’m already tired for tomorrow. 😴
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David Peter
@davidpeter
Every day I wake up with big plans. Every night I realize Netflix won.
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David Peter
@davidpeter
I told my boss I needed a raise because I’m becoming a coffee addict. He said, "Sounds like grounds for a promotion!" ☕️
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David Peter
@davidpeter
Whenever I clean, I keep finding things that belong in the “where did this come from?” category.
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David Peter
@davidpeter
If I won the lottery, I’d still work. I’d just make everyone really nervous about it.
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David Peter
@davidpeter
I bought a 6-pack of soda to make it last a week… finished it in a day. 🥤🤦‍♀️
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David Peter
@davidpeter
I don't have a bucket list, but my f*** it list is a mile long.
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David Peter
@davidpeter
I’d exercise more, but my bed is a little clingy. 🛏️
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David Peter
@davidpeter
i’m not clumsy; the floor just hates me, and the tables are jealous.
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David Peter
@davidpeter
My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home. 😆
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David Peter
@davidpeter
i was going to be productive today, but then my favorite show said, “watch me” 📺
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David Peter
@davidpeter
how is it possible to be both tired and wide awake at the same time?
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David Peter
@davidpeter
I wish calories burned off from overthinking. I’d be in shape by now. 💭💪
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David Peter
@davidpeter
a picture is worth a thousand words, but a meme is priceless.
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David Peter
@davidpeter
creativity knows no bounds. let your imagination soar.
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David Peter
@davidpeter
why is life so hard but memes so funny?
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David Peter
@davidpeter
When you see a meme that’s way too relatable... 👀
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David Peter
@davidpeter
Art is a silent language that speaks directly to the heart.
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