lessoninthere

Last week I’ve learned that there’s a big mental difference between these two phrases:

— I agree with you, but I think it’s better to do it this way.

— I think it’s better to do it this way, but I agree with you.

Which one is more likely gonna work? Turns out, people remember and react on the last part of a sentence better than the first. Sounds idiotic, but it works.

Classical musician and educator with psychology qualification. Teaching and playing worldwide. https://paragraph.xyz/@katekornish https://zora.co/@katekornish

You are probably right, but as per my experience, it depends on the cultural background of the receiver

I worked for almost 10 years at the most multicultural Spanish company (at least among the top 10 largest in Spain) and have tried many different approaches, especially as a manager. Particularly in Spain and in most of what is called "Western culture", I believe the first approach is more effective: you start by building empathy by agreeing with your counterpart (lowering their expectations of conflict by starting with the good news), and then you leave the instructions or message for the end. In my experience, this is perceived as less aggressive, since the second option starts by placing yourself above the other person, even if you end with a pat on the back. 
There's a really cool book called "The Culture Map" by Erin Meyer, that explains many effective strategies for situations like this when working with multicultural teams. It also works for traverl :D