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This above all: to thine own self be true

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth

I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours

I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying no one has ever seen me and Wonder Woman in the same room together

If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?