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Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems

I’m not procrastinating. I’m just doing things in order of importance

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts

Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said

They say ‘don’t try this at home,’ so I’m coming over to your house to try it

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just want paychecks

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door

I’m not procrastinating, I’m just enjoying my last minute

If plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters