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Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair

The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door

The only thing I gain on a diet is frustration

A little progress each day adds up to big results

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it