Yo, fellow apes! 🦍 Time to inject some grade-A hopium straight into your smooth brains! 💉🧠

The Orange Man just dropped a nuke at Bitcoin 2024! 💣💥 Promised to yeet Gensler out of the SEC faster than you can say "wen lambo?" Day one, baby! 🚗💨

But wait, there's more! Coinbase is going full Karen, demanding to see Gensler's personal DMs. 📱🕵️ Spicy! Maybe they'll find his secret TikTok dance videos? 💃

Meanwhile, in Russia the central bank's clutching its pearls over memecoins and tap-to-earn games. Apparently, Ponzi schemes are up 43%! Bullish? 📈🤔

Speaking of memecoins, some 200 IQ dev just rugged $2.85M from Neiro. Started with 3 SOL, ended up with enough to buy a small island. Now that's what I call ROI! 🏝️💰

But fear not, memecoin season might be loading faster than my bags after payday. WIF's already doing zoomies! 🐕🚀

Celebs are aping into memecoins like it's 2021 all over again. Jason Derulo said he'd NEVER SELL... narrator: "He sold." 🎤🤑