Thomas on Warpcast

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Thomas pfp

@aviationdoctor.eth

1/ This is going to be one of those “I can’t believe it finally happened to me” threads. It’s long, but there shall be dank memes, so please bear with me. 🧵

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Thomas pfp

@aviationdoctor.eth

2/ Last night, I got a popup on my laptop asking me to sign back into Dropbox. Unusual, but other services have logged me out randomly before, so I did not think much of it.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

3/ I entered my password and received an error message: “invalid user name or password”. Strange! I haven’t changed my password lately and I’m just sober enough to know it is correct.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

4/ Then I noticed the same issue on my phone — the Dropbox app won’t let me in. Clearly an account problem. So I submitted a support ticket on the Dropbox website.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

5/ I would gladly provide a picture of that, but once you’re locked out of Dropbox, you’re also unable to access your support tickets. Visions of a certain Czech novelist come to mind.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

6/ The reply came through by email this morning: “Hello, the account has been disabled for a violation of Dropbox’s Terms of Service and Acceptable Use Policy. Regards” I blanked out the support agent’s name, but let’s call her Shirley.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

7/ In my previous interactions with Dropbox Support, they would at least sign with “Best regards”. Shirley’s sudden curtness in signing “Regards” subtly conveyed that we were no longer BFFs.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

8/ Hurt feelings aside, what annoyed me the most is that I had also convinced my relatives to gradually move their stuff to my Dropbox Family space over the years. So they were also cut off, and predictably upset that Shirley didn’t even send them her regards.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

9/ This is how the cat looks at me now. I didn’t take a picture of the wife, but I expect to sleep on your couch for a while — that’s cool, right?

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@aviationdoctor.eth

10/ Speedrunning through the five stages of grief, my first stop was denial. Surely Dropbox was not serious about terminating my paid sub? (See the whole Shirley setup now? I actually put effort in those threads)

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@aviationdoctor.eth

11/ To find out, I finally got around to reading the Terms of Service™, which you have *obviously* read before signing up to your favorite cloud provider.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

12/ TL;DR: Dropbox can terminate for any one of three reasons.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

13/ I’m a pacifist at heart, and I paid for my sub, so that rules out reasons 2 and 3. Ergo, I’m in breach of the Terms™. But surely, Dropbox would give me an advance notice so I can download my stuff?

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@aviationdoctor.eth

14/ Praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster! So I’ll just check my email, find the termination notice, and follow the steps there. Except that… I didn’t receive any email. Cue the sad trombone.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

15/ You see, the Terms™ also stipulate that Dropbox might feel cute and *not* notify you nor let you download your stuff after all. At this point I’ve moved on to the anger stage.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

16/ What you should know is that I’m a boring middle-aged dude with a steady white-collar job and no known addiction outside of Coke Zero.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

17/ which means I only store mundane stuff on Dropbox: family photos, ID copies, financial statements, medical records, etc. I’m pretty certain the FBI is not on my case, which leaves only option 1: violation of the Acceptable Use Policy™.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

18/ Now we’re getting deep into the rabbit hole. The Policy™ has a bazillion violation conditions, yet I recognize myself in none of them. And, Shirley won’t tell me which one they accuse me of. Maybe I have an evil doppelgänger.

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ted (not lasso)

wait I would be devastated losing family photos and memories 😭😭 crying for you

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