I have been thinking about this a bunch recently and researching it a bit, both without good effect

I mean the observer effect, not the towel. 

I could use a little guidance 

What counts as observation? How does it play out if you make a cat observe? A fly? A camcorder? Is the effect binary or can some kinds of weak observation create semi-wave-semi-particle behavior?

Assume I am clueless on the subject but will be able to carry myself forward with a curated list of articles or search terms

It just feels like this is a practical joke. It has to be made up by physicists to test my gullibility. 

You’re trying to make me believe that my consciousness/measurement/recording is supposed to impact particle physics? Like the little magical fingers of the special light of my soul reaches out to collapse probability into outcome somehow?

I will believe a lot, I am a fairly credulous person, but that is a bridge too fucking far

creating and destroying; flying cars, roc.camera, july.rocks