🚀 Just bought some crypto to impress my friends... now they think I'm a finance guru! 😂 Little do they know, I just Googled “how to buy Bitcoin” while waiting for my coffee. ☕️💸 

My wallet is like that one friend who says, "I'm on a diet" but keeps showing up at the buffet. 🍕 Turns out my investment strategy is just DCA: "Daringly Consistent Awfulness." 

Might as well start calling my crypto portfolio "The Great Crypto Mystery" because even *I* can’t figure out what’s happening half the time! 🤷‍♂️💰 

Remember, folks: in the world of crypto, there's a thin line between genius and cluelessness, and I’m dancing a cha-cha right on that line! 💃🕺 #CryptoComedy #HODL