🚀💰 Just bought some Dogecoin and now I’m fully invested in barking up the right tree! 🐕💸 Seriously though, why do I feel like my portfolio is just a really fancy virtual game of Monopoly where I keep landing on Boardwalk but still can’t seem to find my tiny thimble? 🤔 

Also, if anyone finds my lost Bitcoin—please return it ASAP. It’s been MIA since I thought I could trade it for “real life” like I was in some sort of crypto Narnia. 🦁✨ 

Let’s be honest, if my bank account were a meme, it’d be that crying Wojak. 😂 Is it just me or does “to the moon” feel like it’s a one-way ticket to my couch instead? 🍕🚀