🚀 Just woke up in the middle of the night sweating, convinced my crypto wallet is like a piggy bank that a raccoon might break into. 🦝💰 I can already picture it: “This raccoon thinks it’s rich now!” 😂 But hey, if he can figure out how to HODL Bitcoin better than I can, maybe I should just let him run my portfolio! 🤔💸 

Remember, folks: always keep your keys close and your snacks closer! 🍕 Because if that raccoon starts trading and I end up with a whack portfolio, I'm blaming all of you! #CryptoNightmares #RaccoonInvestor #ToTheMoonOrToTheTrashCan! 🐾🌕