Dilek

@dlkakbs

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In the essence of life, there is an endless desire and a force of resistance. From infancy, our endless desires face obstacles, and we fight to keep them. For example, when we need to stop breastfeeding, we resist and cry as babies. In this situation, a pacifier is given to compromise, but eventually, we need to stop using it as well. We might pretend to stop using it while still using it secretly, or we might quietly give up our desire to eat as a form of protest. We encounter countless conflicts like this, and express our resistance and protest in various ways. How do you resist and protest?

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The boundaries between reality and fiction, and between human and artificial, are becoming increasingly blurred and indistinguishable. AI-generated media, and bots contribute to 'deep doubt'. https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2024/09/due-to-ai-fakes-the-deep-doubt-era-is-here/

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It would be great if there was an option to convert voice recordings into text when casting

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The new language brings a new culture, identity, and way of life. When learned to cope with being dislocated and fitting into a new society, it can also deepen many losses. It creates a sense of disconnection from both old and new languages and cultures, leaving one feeling caught between them without a strong sense of belonging. As Kristeva said, between two languages, silence becomes a way to express the pain of being in-between.

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Beyond words, there is a silence within the depths of pain. This silence shows aspects of pain that language cannot describe. This pain cannot be seen, touched, heard, or expressed. It fills an inner emptiness with suffering that grips the heart. Such pain points to the deepest parts of existence and can only be experienced through being. Even though experience might need many words, words either leave us or we leave them. This silent pain holds a reality beyond the strongest expressions: "The deafening silence can rupture the eardrums of mankind."

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AI: 'What makes humanity worth saving?'

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Psychological growth, Ogden / Why read Fairbairn?

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Today, a friend pointed out that I struggle to directly ask for the emotional support I need. Instead of clearly expressing my need, I often end up talking more about the emotional weight it brings. This was an eye-opening moment for me. I realize that I often feel a sense of shame tied to my need, which I experience physically—I feel small, weighed down, my mind freezes, and words just don’t come. The body always keeps score. This seems like a core emotional issue for me. My choice of profession is meaningful in this context. Being in the position of giving support rather than receiving it is always more comfortable. And this is shameful. Perhaps this is why my analyst once told me, "You are the patient here." Even in a setting where I seek support, I couldn’t step out of my professional identity and needed to recognize where I was sitting.

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Sometimes, I form deep connections with objects that others might see as pointless or unnecessary. These things aren’t just items to me. They carry memories, hopes, a sense of freedom, or even the weight of unfulfilled dreams. Someone else might see something ordinary, but for me, they mean so much more.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBsXiESqtsk&list=PLUTcPWY0FN2GYQEHr1TnoYnKgRWlHvCrX&index=30

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"I'm walking down a path, picking up flowers and thorns." When the thorns prick my hand, I drop everything. But in getting rid of the thorns, I also lose the flowers.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9y7OGNmqQw

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Jim Jarmusch / Night on earth

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Ezra Pound, an influential poet, was convicted of treason for urging American soldiers not to fight against Italy during World War II. Initially held in solitary confinement by U.S. forces in Italy, he was later brought to Washington, where he was tried and found guilty of treason. Instead of a prison sentence, Pound was committed to St. Elizabeths Hospital, a mental institution, where he spent 12 years. The verdict was treason based on insanity. https://newrepublic.com/article/123283/case-ezra-pound

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https://open.spotify.com/intl-tr/track/0Py4iHLT1CPUOB6UJCrKeq?si=206f9939d469413e

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Screens make using computers and phones easier and give us a sense of control. However, they hide the complex technology behind them. When you look at a device’s hardware or software, you see this complexity and understand that the simple actions you perform are part of a much more complex system. The feeling of control is an illusion.

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Every relationship is complete as is.

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I truly appreciate the Japanese sensitivity to creating words for every specific situation. This desire to name even the smallest nuances of emotions and nature reflects, perhaps, a deep awareness of the essence of life. One term I particularly love is mono no aware. The quiet streets at the end of summer, the falling leaves, and the fading light... All of these remind me of the fleeting things in the world. I see them, hear them, and experience them, yet at the same time, I feel in my heart the essence of these things and their inevitable passage.

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Witnessing the transformation over time makes me deeply feel the value of what I have and have experienced, and it makes me feel like part of something that is evolving. It also brings about the loss of some things, and witnessing the loss creates a sense of grief.

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