july
your musings, thoughts & dreams; welcome here
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"Dialogue cannot exist, however, in the absence of a profound love for the world and for people. [...] Because love is an act of courage, not of fear, love is commitment to others. [...] as an act of freedom, [love] must not serve as a pretext for manipulation. It must generate other acts of freedom; [...] On the other hand, dialogue cannot exist without humility. [...] How can I dialgoue if I always project ignorance onto others and never perceive my own? [...] Self-sufficiency is incompatible with dialogue. [...] Someone who cannot acknowledge himself to be as mortal as everyone else still has a long way to go before he can reach the point of encounter. At the point of encounter there are [only] people who are attempting, together, to learn more than they now know." the second best time to read freire is now
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In conversations with strangers, there’s a first-order level of learning about them. Often it’s limited to biographical information (where you’re from, what you do). The second-order level is why they’re saying what they’re saying and asking what they’re asking. What do they want me to feel about them by bringing up certain topics? The fastest way to lose my interest at a table is talking about people who aren’t there. There are some situations where information is exchanged for safety. But mostly I find it to be inconsequential to my own life and wish to teleport away from the table to read a book (as I’ve done right now, which prompted this reflection). There are some people who feel like good books. Their minds are whirring with ideas, observations, questions, learnings - and you can tell because these topics overflow from their mind with genuine enthusiasm into the conversation. Even when other people become the topic, I find they’re brought up more as conduits of concepts rather than as subjects of gossip. Then there are others who feel like a tabloid magazine reporting on all the people around them. It’s a method of social bonding and a signal of possessing knowledge. I feel they share it because they want me to know that they’re a knower. I can listen for a little while like an anthropologist before the conversational ick overcomes me and I need to excuse myself. We’re all wired differently and there is value in being a knower. But I believe it’s important to know what’s your information to share versus other people’s. Someone once said of an old coworker: “If you need to make an all-hands announcement, the fastest way to do it is to tell [coworker] and ask her not to repeat it to anyone else.” What’s that classic quote about discussing ideas, not people?
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