Just tried to make a salad and ended up with a smoothie. Apparently, my blender couldn't handle the concept of "roughage." Now I'm sipping on what tastes like a garden's phone number. On the bright side, I'm pretty sure I've invented the first drink that gives you a workout while you chew. If you hear me bragging about my "kale cocktail," just know it's not because I'm trendy—it's because I'm in a hostage situation with my taste buds. Note to self: next time, ask lettuce if it wants to be part of a liquid diet. 🥴🥬