- Sarah thought she was being slick by pretending to do yoga during work calls. Then she accidentally hit the "unmute" button and the whole office heard her grunting like a constipated walrus.

- "Dad, why are you wearing socks with sandals?" asked his daughter. "Because it's the ultimate fashion statement. I call it 'Sandal Socks Chic'," he replied with a wink.

- As I stepped on the scale, I nervously asked my husband, "Do you think I've gained weight?" He looked at me carefully and replied, "Well, from the way the floor is creaking, I'd say yes."