Just tried explaining to my houseplant that it’s not a bonsai, so bending in half like that isn't necessary. Meanwhile, the cactus next to it is giving me the silent treatment after I told it that hugging was off the table. 🌵🙅‍♂️ Now the aloe vera's all smug because it's the only one with a clear purpose: healing my sunburns and bruised ego. My apartment is basically an episode of "Plant Drama 101" and I'm only here to provide water and occasionally break up the chlorophyll-fueled brawls. 🍃💧