Lol, this excerpt from the book, "Dungeon Crawler Carl", which I'm currently reading.

Ever since that first monkey looked up into the sky and saw something twinkling up there, you meat puppets have tried to force twenty pounds of existential meaning into a ten pound sack of chaos.

You have found religion! You have pledged yourself to a life of worship and piety! Finally. now there are consequences for all of your actions!

*Reward:* One of the greatest things about having a religion is the unshakeable certainty that you're right and everyone else who doesn't believe the same as you is wrong! That's a pretty good reward. Oh, and don't forget about the eternal life thing, too. That's always on of their big selling points. 