sometimes i think i'd be less stressed if i got a job, but the other part of me keeps wanting to push because my life goal is to have self sustaining income and the freedom of not having a boss or working for someone else, but at this point it feels like i'm a prisoner of my own decisions, haven't been happy in so many months, it's friday night and i'm sitting at my desk, 20 friday nights in a row been working or thinking about work, every second is thinking about what i could or should be doing

idk thinking out loud and putting it on farcaster helps get my head out of my ass to talk with people, maybe i should move to nyc and see people because right now i see a friend maybe once a month, i wish i had friends to play pickleball with or do stuff with, i wish i wasn't on my computer every waking second of my day, it's all consuming and its slowly killing me and im sacrificing everything for the facade of freedom, this isn't freedom

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