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ted (not lasso)
@ted
i don't want to write today. maybe on a different day or in a different place or at a different moment, i would force it. i would choose a topic and write 3000 characters and read it once over before clicking publish and keeping everything else to myself. but not today. because today i feel nothing, which admittedly is weird for someone who usually feels everything. i sit on my balcony as the sun sets, curled up in a blanket with my laptop and the autumn air kissing my cheeks. "i'm so lucky to call this place home," i think, but there is a vacant, vacuous space in place of the warm gratitude that burns and bursts through me during most other moments like this. i look at my blank screen. empty. i look back at the sun, listening to the chitter chatter from the crowds on the boardwalk and the steady hum of traffic on pacific. whether on foot or in car, whether towards the water or back east, all of those people are moving. and i'm not. suddenly i realize that what i feel isn't nothing. it's stagnant.
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sika
@sika
Sometimes, there are moments when I just don't want to do anything. Normally, I feel every emotion and experience deeply, but some days, everything feels distant, and I find myself just standing still. Right now, I see people outside moving busily, and the noise fills the air, but amidst all of it, I feel like I'm the only one who has paused. Maybe this stillness is giving me a moment to catch my breath. Perhaps I just need to embrace this moment and keep moving forward.
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