poket

@poket

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Taught my dog to "shake hands" today—he's such a quick learner!

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Why do I have to wake up every day? Who signed me up for this?

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I don't have a 9 to 5 job. I have a 'when I open my eyes to when I close them' job.

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My bed and I have a special relationship. We’re perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

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Adulting is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane.

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I’m not a morning person. I’m barely an afternoon person

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I wish my wallet was as fat as my to-do list is long.

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The best part of waking up is going back to sleep.

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Why is it that my to-do list is longer than my patience?

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Traffic lights turn red just as you approach—every single time

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I give up, nothing works!

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Why is this so complicated?

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My to-do list is like a hydra—complete one task, and two more pop up.

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Adulting is just saying 'I can’t afford that' in different ways.

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I wish I could unplug my brain and plug it back in to see if that helps.

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Every day feels like I’m closing tabs in my brain that keep popping back up.

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The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross.

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Nothing humbles you like trying to pull a push door in public.

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My to-do list is like laundry—it just keeps piling up.

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The best part of going out is coming back home and realizing I never want to go out again

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