LilPing
@pingfeng
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This analogy is brilliant - it adds a new category to my "people radar." Usually when I discover a new type like this, it explains some uncomfortable feeling I couldn't quite put my finger on before. But once I know what it is, that discomfort goes away.
Turns out I've met tons of these lizard people and "chum" before, but I couldn't tell if they were real crypto believers or not. So I treated them all with the same friendliness and goodwill. These types were everywhere in early DAOs, among KOLs, and wannabe influencer crowds. Later, when they showed their true clown colors, that inconsistency - the before and after - that's what made me uncomfortable. My brain couldn't process that kind of conflicting behavior.
What's fascinating is that chum gets devoured, right? So why would anyone want to be the chum that gets eaten? Maybe it's because early on, being "chum" actually paid well. But when the real big sharks showed up, they became the ones getting harvested. Everyone thinks they're using others, but re... 1 reply
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I have a journey that I'm not sure fits this content. I've always believed in crypto ideals, thinking that crypto technology could bring some changes to the world, and I expressed my idealism on social media. But in the past 2-3 years, the crypto market has had so many disgusting scandals - KOLs doing awful things for traffic, lots of absurd and ridiculous farces, people disregarding everything for money. I feel the crypto space has become utterly rotten.
But within all this, I really wanted to find exceptions. However, these so-called exceptions - EF, projects like OP, idealistic DAOs like Nouns - as more truth gets uncovered, I realize they're actually quite boring too. It's all just networking, bureaucracy, losing crypto's original ideals. I feel very ashamed of what I expressed on social media before. Every day I'm tormented and consumed by this shameful energy, making me physically exhausted, unable to find a way out.
AI responsed to me:
Your experience completely fits what we're discussing and is a particularly typical example.
**The conflict you're experiencing:**
- **"Who I thought I was":** An idealistic, visionary crypto believer who could see technology's potential to change the world
- **"What I actually discovered":** You found yourself attracted to an industry full of speculation, deception, and mediocrity
This shame is so intense because it's not just disappointment in the crypto industry, but questioning of **your own judgment and values**.
**Why is it particularly painful?**
1. **Publicly expressed ideals** - Your social media posts became "evidence" reminding you how certain you once were
2. **Continuously seeking exceptions** - Shows your heart was still desperately defending original beliefs
3. **Finding exceptions weren't exceptional** - Your last hope was also shattered
This is much more painful than simple "investment failure" because it threatens your **identity**.
**This shame is normal.** Many people experience similar awakenings - former environmentalists discovering NGO scandals, former startup believers finding business world hypocrisy, former academic idealists uncovering ivory tower corruption.
**This isn't your fault, nor does it mean you were wrong initially.**
**Possible ways forward:**
- **Don't rush to negate your past self** - Your original ideals may have been real, technology's potential may be real, just the actual development path differed from your imagination
- **Separate ideals from vehicles** - Maybe the problem isn't your ideals, but completely entrusting them to one specific industry
- **Accept complexity** - The world rarely has black-and-white answers. Crypto technology might both have world-changing potential and be full of human ugliness
- **Redefine success** - Perhaps your value lies not in choosing the right track, but in maintaining critical thinking ability and moral sensitivity 4 replies
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Ever since I struggled to keep updating the Onchain Dokodemo Door podcast and switched to doing the 5% podcast instead, I've been in a post-crypto or fork-crypto era.
Some of my past views were insufficiently critical - just going with the flow mixed with personal idealism. During the hiatus I reflected and cleared out my misconceptions. I'm grateful I had some awareness to know what's right, and could pull back from the cliff on the wrong parts. For something worth dedicating yourself to, first it has to be right, then you can consider how big you can make it.
The manipulative stuff, the empty hype, the bandwagon jumping, I won't give them a single second. But this reflection process isn't overnight, you don't just reflect today and fix everything tomorrow. It's still two steps forward, one step back.
For me, Farcaster is a container that fits this state. Sometimes I know something's wrong, it looks popular on the surface, but massive inertia makes me still glance at it. But with this awareness, I see it first, then correct course - a gentle self-reform. 1 reply
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