Looking for a service that’ll notify me if a contract doesn’t emit a certain event or have a certain method called in a given timeframe. Kinda like a dead man switch? Does such a thing exist?

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This is a fun idea. Will be possible with Ponder soon, but not yet (no notifications/effects).

If you search carefully, you will definitely find this kind of service

I believe Tenderly or Etherscan is what you're looking for. If I understand your question in a right way