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Nerd-E 🎩🔮

@nerdy

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@nerdy
Here’s what I’ve learned since having a daughter: Fake nail technology has dramatically improved since I was in middle school.
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@nerdy
You know how The Office was a UK fake reality show and years later America had a spinoff? This tariffs nonsense seems like the US spinoff of Brexit.
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@nerdy
Ok so I watched Pantheon. After much reflection on the themes of the show, what I came away with is: I think if I were the earliest uploaded intelligence, the first thing I’d do is figure out how to smoke the internet.
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@nerdy
When you’re proud because you killed it at work, but your job is too technical and in-the-weeds to even explain to people what went well.
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@nerdy
Fuck the patent system. Exclusivity is anti competitive and anti free market. When a new medicine is approved, anyone should be allowed to make it, with a small royalty paid to the patent holder. That would fix a whole lot but still not everything wrong with drug companies.
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@nerdy
Letting your kids get sick with measles is an immoral lifestyle choice.
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@nerdy
Bringing back direwolves is cool and all but… let’s stop being cowards and resurrect the Neanderthal next.
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@nerdy
So what’s the reason we Americans always lean on shit. Is it because of a movie, or we’re heavy, or back injuries, or…?
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@nerdy
This is just the market pricing in fascism.
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@nerdy
Why would anyone look at porn when they can watch footage of an A-10 tear up targets on the ground?
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@nerdy
How surprising is it, really, that an alcoholic sent texts he shouldn’t have? The US is circling the drain.
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@nerdy
I’m feeding my kids blood and guts this evening. Blood sausage and liverwurst. Hurray for themes!
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@nerdy
We are definitely living in an era that will be considered a “dark age.” Almost all of our records are digital and virtually none of our digital records will survive more than a century at most.
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@nerdy
The only data storage system guaranteed to survive the death of the sun is the 8-track players on the Voyagers.
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@nerdy
Protip: you can add LSD to rocksalt shells to make gunfights more interesting.
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@nerdy
It’s only Champagne if it’s from the Champagne region of France. Or a few wineries in California. Nowhere else, otherwise it’s sparkling wine. Does texas have champagne? No, just sparkling wine. New York? Sparkling wine. Does California have good champagne? No. But it does have good sparkling wine 😂 I swear we make California Champagne taste like piss just to mess with the French.
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@nerdy
(At newscorp headquarters) “There is too much negativity! I want every story introduced with a positive spin!” (That evening) “Citizens of most major cities saw an unexpected boost to their solar panel production during the nuclear flashes, saving money on electricity bills…”
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@nerdy
Today’s strange fact: No one born blind has ever become schizophrenic. Seems like that warrants some study…
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@nerdy
Who did it better, no ragerts or:
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@nerdy
Ukrainian names sound like people were trying to cheat at scrabble so they just crammed all the high value consonants together, and when challenged doubled down on it again and again until they were forced to call their children shit like Zalenskyy and Yanukovych.
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