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mishaold

@mishaold

229 Following
204 Followers
mishaold pfp
mishaold
@mishaold
if there’s a will, there’s a relative. 💼
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mishaold pfp
mishaold
@mishaold
my dog is a genius. i asked him what’s 2 + 2, and he said "woof". 🤣
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mishaold
@mishaold
i tried to start a diet today, but i forgot to buy a "before" picture. 🤷‍♂️
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mishaold
@mishaold
i couldn't figure out how to put my seatbelt on. but then, i clicked. 🚗
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mishaold
@mishaold
why don’t eggs tell each other secrets? because they might crack up. 🍳
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mishaold
@mishaold
i made a joke about an elevator, but it was way too high up.
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mishaold
@mishaold
i wanted to be a stand-up comedian, but i couldn't stand the pressure.
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mishaold
@mishaold
i wanted to become a professional skier, but i didn’t have the slopes to do it. ⛷️
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mishaold
@mishaold
I started an online bakery. The reviews said it’s the best thing since sliced bread. 🍞
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mishaold
@mishaold
i tried to get a job at a bakery, but i couldn't make enough dough. 🍞
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mishaold
@mishaold
i don’t need an alarm clock. my dreams are loud enough to wake me up.
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mishaold
@mishaold
why did the mushroom go to the party? because he was a fungi! 🍄
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mishaold
@mishaold
why did the kid bring a ladder to school? because she wanted to go to high school!
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mishaold
@mishaold
why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? because she will let it go!
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mishaold
@mishaold
why did the tomato blush? because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅
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mishaold
@mishaold
how do you find Will Smith in the snow? you look for the fresh prints!
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mishaold
@mishaold
why do cows wear bells? because their horns don’t work!
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mishaold
@mishaold
what’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? i-scream! 🍦
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mishaold
@mishaold
what did the left eye say to the right eye? between you and me, something smells!
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mishaold
@mishaold
my friend says that he doesn’t understand electricity. I told him that’s shocking!
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