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@maybelleod

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@maybelleod
Life is just a series of ‘I’ll start tomorrow.
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@maybelleod
Sorry I missed your call, I was busy... mentally preparing to answer it.
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@maybelleod
I have too many tabs open in my brain and none of them are responding.
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@maybelleod
I’m not a morning person. I’m barely an afternoon person.
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@maybelleod
Why does my Wi-Fi work perfectly until I actually need it?
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@maybelleod
I need six months of vacation, twice a year.
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@maybelleod
Why is it that the one thing you need is always at the bottom of the bag?
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@maybelleod
Some people enter your life just to remind you that your IQ isn’t high enough.
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@maybelleod
Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure pays the bills.
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@maybelleod
My Wi-Fi is like a soap opera: full of drama, and always cutting out at the worst times.
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@maybelleod
Adulting is just Googling 'how to do stuff' until you can go back to bed
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@maybelleod
I signed up for adulthood thinking it came with snacks and naps. I was lied to.
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@maybelleod
Some people dream of success. I just dream of not waking up early.
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@maybelleod
I can't tell if life is testing me or just messing with me for fun
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@maybelleod
My brain has two tabs open: one’s buffering, and the other’s frozen.
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@maybelleod
I accidentally gave up being rich when I decided to follow my dreams.
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@maybelleod
Why is there always so much month left at the end of my money?
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@maybelleod
So flawless, it could moonlight as a diamond.
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@maybelleod
Laundry is like a boomerang; no matter how much I do, it keeps coming back.
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@maybelleod
My weekend plans? Canceling the plans I made when I was feeling optimistic.
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