Martin Miller

@martinmiller

58 Following

151 Followers

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they say money doesn’t grow on trees, but neither does time... so here I am, broke and busy.

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Why did the math book look so sad? it had too many problems. 📖

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Tried to be productive, but my couch said, "Stay awhile." 🛋️

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"i’ll just rest my eyes" is the gateway drug to a three-hour nap.

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Why don’t we trust atoms? because they make up everything. ⚛️

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Why can’t you trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something. 🪜

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i made a pencil with two erasers. it was pointless.

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I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m fine, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

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coffee: a hug in a mug, but also the reason my hands shake. ☕

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If my plants could talk, they’d scream, "Water us, Karen!" 🌱

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