Martin Miller

@martinmiller

58 Following

115 Followers

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what do you call fake spaghetti? an impasta! 🍝

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i have a joke about construction, but i’m still working on it. 🔨

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it’s not that i’m lazy, i’m just on energy-saving mode.

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i told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. sadly, no pun in 10 did.

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if i had a dollar for every time i thought about food, i would be a millionaire. 🍔

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i’m a big fan of whiteboards. they’re re-markable! ✨

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i’m really good at my job… except when the boss is around.

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why did the scarecrow win an award? because he was outstanding in his field. 🌾

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My dog thinks every plastic bag is a snack bag. 🛍️

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If my dog could talk, I’m pretty sure he’d say, "Why are you so weird?" 🐕

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