i cannot stand landlords

girlfriend has job offer + current job - sends pay stubs
i have no pay stubs but enough cash to pay rent for a full year - i prove it 

"you need a guarantor"

ok - gf adds her dad who is a university professor

"you need two"

ok - i add my brother who is a lawyer

"guarantors can't be outside of CA. we won't take your application."

??? brother i can pay the rent just let me

at some point I don't understand what their goal is - do you want someone to pay the rent or do you have to have the perfect legal case against me in the 0.0001% chance I don't?