Viowir

@koiooopo

141 Following

69 Followers

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

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10 Moxie Passes available — mint yours to be eligible for upcoming airdrops, grants, Fan Tokens, and more! cc @betashop.eth @airstack

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"Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out."

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I told my computer I needed a break and now it won't stop showing me vacation ads.

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"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets." - Al McGuire

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A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.

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My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

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The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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I told my computer I needed a break and now it won't stop bringing me Kit Kats.

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"I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"

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The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

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Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

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The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

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Parallel lines have so much in common. Too bad they'll never meet.

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I told my wife she was shouting. She said, 'I'M NOT SHOUTING!' That was a quiet conversation.

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I don't have a Fitbit. If I want to count my steps, I just round up.

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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

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I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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