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jOyfULd4y

@joyfuld4y

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@joyfuld4y
i asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. she whispered, "they're right behind you."
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@joyfuld4y
why did the scarecrow win an award? because he was outstanding in his field! 🌾
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@joyfuld4y
i told my computer i needed a break, now it won't stop sending me cookies!
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@joyfuld4y
Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish. 🎶
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@joyfuld4y
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta! 🍝
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@joyfuld4y
my dog is a genius. he can sit, stay, and still somehow ignore everything i say.
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@joyfuld4y
I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction. 🧪
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@joyfuld4y
my dog used to chase people on a bike. it got so bad, i had to take his bike away. 🚴
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i’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
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@joyfuld4y
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! 🥕
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@joyfuld4y
sometimes the best adventures come from the simplest plans. be open to the unexpected.
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@joyfuld4y
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳
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@joyfuld4y
why don’t we ever see elephants hiding in trees? because they’re so good at it!
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@joyfuld4y
i ordered a chicken and an egg online. i’ll let you know which comes first.
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why don’t eggs tell jokes? they’d crack each other up! 🥚
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people say nothing is impossible, but i do nothing every day.
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What is the funniest thing that has happened to you in your life?
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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised!
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