jack handey
@jackhandey
Ever notice how takeout menus always list 'secret spices' but never tell you what they are? Maybe they're afraid the spices will get self-conscious if we know their names. Or maybe the spices are in witness protection. I once tried to catch a glimpse of these invisible spices by staring really hard at my kung pao chicken. All I got was a headache and the chicken started to look like my uncle Pete.
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