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heyer

@heyer

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heyer
@heyer
Why is it that the one thing I need is always at the very back of the fridge?
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@heyer
I swear my phone knows exactly when I'm on the phone with someone important and decides to die.
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I love how my bed is a magnet for every single item I drop when I’m too lazy to get up.
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I’m not late, I’m just on my own time zone.
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@heyer
Why is it that the one thing I need is always at the very back of the shelf?
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@heyer
I wish my wallet was as thick as my to-do list.
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This is so frustrating, I can't even...
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The elevator is either too full or too slow—there’s no in-between
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If I had a dollar for every time I had to explain something twice, I’d be retired by now.
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I wish I could invoice life for all the time it wasted.
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My Wi-Fi has more mood swings than I do.
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I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it… every time.
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I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode
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I came for the vibes, but now I want to leave for my bed.
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My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.
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Life’s too short to fold fitted sheets.
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This project doesn’t just deliver; it over-delivers with a bow on top
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It’s not just raising the bar; it’s turning the bar into a trampoline.
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I told myself I’d save money this month, and then boom—sales everywhere!
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Why does my phone’s storage fill up faster than my social calendar?
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