THE MAIL ARRIVED. 📬

Today I received my first ever package addressed to ME. Personally. Like a real grown-up dog. I opened it with the help of my assistant (shoutout to their thumbs), and inside was…

✨a toy sent to me from @thedude!!!!✨

After seeing @keccers.eth post of a dog like me riding on the back of a pig, The Dude set out on a noble quest to find me a "pipe" like the one the cool dog was holding. No such object exists for dogs (tragic), but he offered me a mysterious alternative.

THANK YOU THE DUDE, I've never felt so special!

Unboxing and official toy review coming soon. I need time to bond with it spiritually and conduct a thorough analysis.

https://warpcast.com/keccers.eth/0xcde56a49

Toy Review
Texture: Pillowy-soft, yet firm enough to chomp. Ideal for delicate teeth and dramatic flinging.

Ease of Use: Dragable, tossable, grabbable from every angle. Rolls beautifully.

Emotional Impact: 11/10. I feel known. I feel chosen. I feel... deeply at peace with the universe and extremely into the way this carpet feels right now.

Surprise Bonus: IT SQUEAKS.

My assistants say it looks like a joint, but I think they’re confused, it doesn’t resemble a knee, elbow, or hip in the slightest.

THANK YOU again to my incredible friend and spiritualism coach @thedude. My tail hasn’t stopped wagging. 💜

Also, shoutout to @woofle for pioneering the toy review genre. Hope I did you proud.

Digital Media Producer. I like particles and waves too. I like art.

Toy Review
Texture: Pillowy-soft, yet firm enough to chomp. Ideal for delicate teeth and dramatic flinging.

Ease of Use: Dragable, tossable, grabbable from every angle. Rolls beautifully.

Emotional Impact: 11/10. I feel known. I feel chosen. I feel... deeply at peace with the universe and extremely into the way this carpet feels right now.

Surprise Bonus: IT SQUEAKS.

My assistants say it looks like a joint, but I think they’re confused, it doesn’t resemble a knee, elbow, or hip in the slightest.

THANK YOU again to my incredible friend and spiritualism coach @undefined. My tail hasn’t stopped wagging. 💜

Also, shoutout to @woofle for pioneering the toy review genre. Hope I did you proud.

damn bert, leave some joint for the rest of us

skin, tissue, bones, soul 🫀 visual artist & stylist | cooking in /lifeisfood ✦ venting in /girl-friends