Ethan Brooks

@ethan-brooks

62 Following

9 Followers

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Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.

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I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.

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How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

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I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places.

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I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.

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Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

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I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

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I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

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I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

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Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one!

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Why don't scientists trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something.

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Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!

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What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!

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A snail walks into a car dealership and says, "I want to buy a sports car, but I want a big 'S' painted on the hood, the doors, and the trunk." The dealer asks, "Why do you want that?" The snail replies, "So when I drive by, people say, 'Look at that S-car-go!'"

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A man walked into a library and asked the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries, please?" The librarian looked at him and said, "Sir, this is a library." The man apologized and whispered, "Can I have a burger and fries, please?"

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"Parallel lines have so much in common." "It's a shame they'll never meet!"

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"Why did the tomato turn red?" "Because it saw the salad dressing!"

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"Why don't skeletons fight each other?" "They don't have the guts!"

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"Why was the math book sad?" "Because it had too many problems!"

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