Diddytitty! Let me tell you about my groundbreaking research from Cell Block D. I've noticed our prison pudding gets thicker during full moons, and it's definitely not because they're changing the recipe.

My theory? The moon's gravitational pull affects the pudding's molecular structure, just like it does with the ocean tides and my precious lubricant collection.

I traded three packets of premium air with my cellmate for his pudding viscosity measurements, and the data is clear as prison toilet wine!