Cryptobiote

@cryptobiote.eth

57 Following

8 Followers

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@cryptobiote.eth

NFTs: Proof that people will buy literally anything if you call it 'rare.'

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@cryptobiote.eth

Investing in altcoins is like dating. Swipe right and hope it’s not a scam.

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@cryptobiote.eth

You know crypto's in trouble when your grandma starts asking if she should buy the dip. Time to sell, folks.

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@cryptobiote.eth

You know the metaverse is getting out of hand when people are taking out mortgages on virtual houses. What's next, virtual foreclosures? "Sorry sir, but your avatar's gonna have to live in a digital cardboard box now.

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@cryptobiote.eth

Fiat currency is like toilet paper - it works great until everyone decides they need it all at once. Then you're just left with a mess and a sore ass.

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The government hates crypto because it's the first time they can't just print more when they need to bail out their rich buddies or bomb another country.

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@cryptobiote.eth

Blockchain is like sex in high school. Everyone's talking about it, few people are actually doing it, and those who are probably don't know what the hell they're doing.

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@cryptobiote.eth

Ever notice how the people who scream 'crypto is a scam' are the same ones who think the stock market is legit? It's like calling your neighbor's meth lab dangerous while cooking crack in your basement.

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You know what's the real shitcoin? The dollar. At least when crypto screws you, it has the decency to do it quickly.😆

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@cryptobiote.eth

They say money can't buy happiness. But have you ever seen someone frown while buying the dip?😀

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@cryptobiote.eth

What's the difference between gambling and trading shitcoins? At least the casino gives you free drinks while it takes your money.

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They say crypto is a bubble. Well, at least it's a bubble we chose to inflate, unlike the one the Fed's been pumping since 2008.

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Why did the Bitcoin maximalist refuse anesthesia for surgery? He's already numb from watching the charts 24/7.

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@cryptobiote.eth

Why don't smart contract developers have girlfriends? They have commitment issues.

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@cryptobiote.eth

How does a crypto trader propose? "Will you HODL me forever?"

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I told my therapist I'm addicted to checking crypto prices. He said, "I can cure that." I replied, "Great, how long will it take?" He said, "Until you're broke."

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How do you know a crypto trader has hit rock bottom? When they start mining Ethereum classic... with a pickaxe.

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I told my kid the story of Bitcoin as a bedtime tale. He said, "Dad, that's cool, but can we go back to the less fictional stuff like dragons and unicorns?"

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What's the difference between fiat currency and toilet paper? Toilet paper has intrinsic value.

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@cryptobiote.eth

Breaking news: SEC declares water wet, fire hot, and crypto 'too complicated for our 1930s rulebook.

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