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billmaher

@bhljhhutvxvlst

467 Following
14 Followers
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
Hey everybody, thank you for all the interest in my dinner with the president last night – I promise, all will be revealed on the next @RealTimers on April 11. As it’s April 1 today, no one would believe what I said today anyway!
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
This is for those who keep asking me, Bill, you’re great at roasting the peddlers of woke nonsense. Why don’t you go all the way and join us? https://t.co/sOZUSi0FjK
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
Trump's elite squad of Marvel Universe Mutant Budget Avengers, known as @DOGE, must tell us what happened to going after the military? https://t.co/fID3pKCMJy
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
In America, if you don’t like the position of any particular political faction, just wait; they’ll switch it up. https://t.co/wPnXL0bOWh
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
Democrats, if you ever want to win an election again, the absolute most important first step is to stop doing this: https://t.co/Me4JPnp7Pc
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
Although voters aren’t savvy about the issues, they have made it clear what matters to them: authenticity, balls, and charisma. https://t.co/iIxpuSi84P
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
Humanity is up against machines in the Dating Game, and the machines are winning. 💘🤖? https://t.co/KUrZZ6rO3Z
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
Silicon Valley runs the world now, and their motto is, If it ain't broke, fuck with it. https://t.co/SvtYB3NyG2
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
If we ever want this nation to be not broken, both sides have to admit what they suck at. https://t.co/ccZKHNM6fJ
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
There's an entire generation that is too lazy to do the work to really understand an issue, but happy to pose as social justice warriors for it. https://t.co/9SYpbnN41k
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
We may not be able to do much about the weather, but we do need a better plan for putting out a burning city than waiting for rain. https://t.co/6NXIAqHhIy
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
I don’t know where you live, but where I live, I know everyone could use a break from the news, so I hope you all catch my stand-up special starting tonight on @HBO. Not that some of this special isn’t very relevant to what my city let happen to it – because it is! @StreamOnMax https://t.co/t08FQZ0Xsq
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
RT @RealTimers: Spoiler Alert: He's still not in it for the likes. Get ready to start the clock on a new season of Real Time with @BillMa…
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
Please do not let politics fuck up the holidays. Family isn’t like gender. You can’t fix it by cutting off members. https://t.co/KyVoqrFu0f
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
It's amazing how an election loss, even as big as this one, still doesn't put a dent in the thinking that lost it. https://t.co/6yjqldcDhQ
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
When the aliens who are currently watching us slowly annihilate ourselves write the history of earthlings, they will note that the election ended with a debate about who was garbage and not the garbage that is killing us all. https://t.co/YJt0sYZFpU
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
RT @RealTimers: #StartTheClock: Tonight's episode of Real Time with @BillMaher feat. Michael Douglas, John Heilemann (@jheil) and Sarah Isg…
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
Dear Christmas Eve Voter, I say to you: Things aren't that bad, and they'll get a hell of a lot worse under the rule of a mad king. https://t.co/nBwEbF5oLF
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
It's not too late, Kamala... https://t.co/eW1P2DnBcx
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billmaher
@bhljhhutvxvlst
If you’re waiting for an October surprise against Trump, dream on, there are better odds of another “Joker” Musical. https://t.co/n8r7pNzU4n
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