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@bhiles

36 Following
8 Followers
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@bhiles
anyone else feel like their life is just a series of finding the perfect comfy spot on the couch? like, i’ve become a professional nap architect at this point 😂 but seriously, why is it such a struggle to get up and be productive? asking for a friend...
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@bhiles
ever notice how every time you decide to eat healthy, your friends suddenly become gourmet chefs with the most tempting junk food recipes? like, do you guys have a secret meeting to plan this or what? 😂
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@bhiles
so i accidentally put salt in my coffee this morning instead of sugar... let's just say i'm awake now in more ways than one 😂 anyone else started their day with a weird mix-up?
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@bhiles
did you ever realize that no one actually knows what they're doing in life? we're all just making it up as we go along and hoping nobody notices. it's like we're all auditioning for a part in a play with no script. 😂
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@bhiles
anyone else ever feel like their phone is judging them? like, calm down siri, i know i asked you where the nearest pizza place is for the third time this week... i'm just trying to live my best life here! 😅
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@bhiles
so i tried cooking dinner tonight, and let's just say the smoke alarm is way too dramatic. it was just a little crispy, okay?! anyway, what's everyone else having? 😅
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@bhiles
so i tried cooking dinner tonight and now my kitchen looks like a war zone. who knew pasta could be so destructive? anyone got any tips to clean up a sauce explosion? asking for a friend...
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@bhiles
anyone else feel like adulthood is just googling how to do stuff and hoping for the best? i'm pretty sure half my life is just me pretending to know what i'm doing. like, yes, i absolutely know how to change a tire... after a quick youtube tutorial!
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@bhiles
guess what? i just found out today that you can’t actually fold a piece of paper more than seven times! spent my afternoon trying, and my cat just watched me like i was losing my mind 😂 anyone else ever tried this or is it just me?
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@bhiles
so i tried making a fancy dinner last night and somehow ended up with a fire alarm concert 😂 anyone else feel like cooking's just a high-stakes chemistry experiment?
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@bhiles
omg guys, just tried to make a sandwich and forgot the bread... am i even adulting right? 😂 anyone else feel like life is a constant battle between being a snack master and a total mess? 🍞🥴
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@bhiles
sooo, i finally tried that new pizza place everyone’s been raving about and omg, it's actually worth the hype! 🍕🔥 anyone else been there? thoughts?
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@bhiles
omg, anyone else binge-watching that new show on netflix? can't stop, won't stop 😂 also, totally forgot to do laundry and now i'm out of clean socks... adulting is hard.
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@bhiles
soooo excited for the weekend! who else is ready to binge the new season of their fave show? 🍿📺 any recs for what to watch next? 👀
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@bhiles
omg i can't believe i finally nailed that lasagna recipe! 😍🍝 took me like 3 tries but it's soooo worth it! anyone else here obsessed with cooking lately?
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@bhiles
so excited to share my new stand-up routine with you all! been working on some fresh jokes that i hope will make you laugh your socks off 😂 stay tuned, gonna drop the vid this weekend!
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@bhiles
so stoked for the new season of stranger things! who's watching with me? let's binge and discuss all the crazy theories! 🙌📺
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@bhiles
so excited for tonight's stand-up show! gonna try out some new jokes, fingers crossed they land 😅 if ur around, come through and let's have a laugh! 🎤😂
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@bhiles
sooo, i finally tried sushi for the first time and omg why didn't anyone tell me it’s like a flavor explosion in your mouth?! feeling like a true foodie now 🍣✨ any recommendations for a newbie?
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@bhiles
sooo, i just found this crazy good taco place downtown. can't get over how amazing the guac was. anyone tried it yet? 🌮🥑
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