Derek on Warpcast

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I don’t tell my toddler to “share”. Why? First of all, toddlers are just not developmentally ready for the concept of sharing. Even as adults, are we really cool with sharing??? @jachian one time got upset with me because I ate the top of a croffin that we were supposed to be “sharing”. 🤷🏻‍♀️ However, we hear these a lot: “You gotta share with your friends.” “Be nice. Share it with your sister.” Kids are being DEMANDED to share. If we tell them “sharing is caring”, then does “not willing to share” mean “not caring”? Does it make them bad kids? Not at all. I don’t want my child to take sharing for granted. Yes, it’s ok if you are not ready to share YET. Yes, it’s ok when someone else is not sharing. Yes, it’s ok to say “I prefer playing by myself”. Yes, it’s ok when someone says “no” to you. Yes, ALL of these are OKAY.

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I get the point you're trying to make, but I think you're looking at it from the wrong pair of lenses. Look at it this way, these years are their formation years, so you get to mold them in a way you, their parent, think is best. I believe its important to encourage them to share as toddlers, then as they grow older you make them understand that sometimes they may not feel like sharing and that it's ok, it doesn't make them bad. I guess the point I'm trying to make it that at the toddler stage, they shouldn't be given much choices but guidance, then when they grow older and can think/understand/weight things for themselves, then they get to make choices.

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Thanks for sharing your points. Sharing is great! For me, I always give my toddler choices. In terms of sharing or not sharing, I present both choices to her without encouraging her to pick one over the other. Encouraging sharing is a more dominant message she gets from daycare and will continue to get from the world. At some point, she will learn to follow social rules and expectations. Before that, I want her to first learn how to be true to her feelings while not hurting others’ feelings.

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