Thomas on Warpcast

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@aviationdoctor.eth

The generic hotel experience, based on years of international road warrioring: 🧵 1/4 The check in agent must spend eight minutes mysteriously typing away at their computer and running back and forth to their colleague at the next counter while you stand there. Checking in online, indicating your arrival time, getting your digital room key on the app, being a regular guest, etc. does not change that at all. When you first enter the room, the TV is always on, blasting obnoxious muzak on loop, and displaying “Welcome” followed by your last name in all caps. Your first order of business will be to frantically locate the hidden remote. Your next order of business will be to collect and put away all the random cards, leaflets, welcome letters, spa information, and no smoking reminders that litter the bed, bedside tables, desk, and minibar countertop, like in a deranged mini Easter egg hunt sans the yummy chocolate.

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@aviationdoctor.eth

2/4 The pillows on the bed are thicker and harder than two stacks of bricks. If you request thin fluffy feather pillows, they will be thicker and harder than 1.5 stacks of bricks. There are enough pillows on the bed to accommodate a polycule of six FTX employees. If you remove excess pillows and hide them on the closet’s top shelf, they will magically reappear on the bed the next day, only now dirtier. Your job will be to find which ones to remove again. Before going to sleep, you must play a 30-minute game of “find the switch for this last light”. I checked and this is not part of @bryanjohnson’s prescribed bedtime routine. And once you figure it out, there is still a ceiling smoke detector right above your head that insists on blinking blindingly every three seconds to remind you that its battery is fine, just in case you were worried.

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The always on LEDs (including the TV one when you can't unplug it) are solved with this little black electric adhesive tape you always have in your luggage.

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You may have forgotten the AC always on 18°C that you have to shut down and simply open the window (in France at least). I've even seen once AC in "make it arctic" mode while the heater was on to keep the room at 20... Shut both off and open the window. 4 stars hotels of course.

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